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Hailie

To find someone you love, You gotta be someone you love. To find someone you love, You gotta call your own bluff. -"Concrete Bed", Nada Surf

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We ask ourselves, "Who am I to be brilliant, gorgeous, talented, fabulous?" Actually, who are you not to be? (from OUR DEEPEST FEAR by Marianne Williamson)

Hailie is a 23 24 year-old girl who moves in the sometimes harsh reality under the name Karen. She loves reading, especially classical books and books written by Jeffrey Archer. She is a self-confessed ham who loves taking the center stage. She loves dancing and singing - but that doesn't mean she knows how to dance and sing. Her never-wavering dream is to become an actress...no kidding. A DVD addict, her favorite shopping places are Quiapo and Divisoria. She also recently discovered St. Francis Square, where she now shops for clothes, shoes, and anything Hello Kitty. Currently dreaming of owning an PlayStation PortableiTouch, pink Moto Razr Okwap i885, a portable DVD player, and the black pink DS Lite. She salivates everytime she sees the still-to-be-released recently-released Sony PlayStation 3 and Nintendo Wii. In love with life, love, and Frank Lampard Brandon Routh Joo Ji-hoon Milo Ventimiglia Daniel Henney (the last item changes from time to time...shifts from Rafael Nadal to Won Bin to Josh Hartnett or whoever). Her ultimate goal in life is to die happy.



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Tuesday, April 25, 2006

A Foiled Mission and More

Okay, so I'm back to ground zero...in the love department that is. Yes, I know I mentioned about two prospects. Well guess what? It's back to none. Prospect #2 turned out to be not single. How'd I find out? Okay, prepare to be shocked: I called him. And take note: this is a guy that I barely know. Alright, let me go to the details.

Prospect #2 is my cashier/barista at Starbucks Valero. And the only interaction we've had is me ordering my favorite frappe. There were small talks ("Where do you work, Karen?", "Is it your break?", "Is this your favorite, Karen?", etc...), but then it could have been just the usual 'Starbucks hospitality'. But then again, he was being ultra sweet and super interested in my "life" that I just zeroed in on him. Malay mo nga naman...writer meets barista and lived happily ever after. But I suppose that's not happening anymore. Last Thursday, I went with my friend to Starbucks. Now you have to know that this friend of mine is crazee! And her name's Jehan. When we stepped up to the counter and she saw Jay's name plate, she said: "Ah...ikaw pala si Jay. Alam mo ba na kaya lang kami pumunta dito dahil crush ka niya (points at me)." So here's the complete conversation that made me humiliated for the rest of that Thursday night:


Jehan: Ah...ikaw pala si Jay. Alam mo ba na kaya lang kami pumunta dito dahil crush ka niya (points at me).
Jay: (smiles)
Me: (whispering)
Jehan, stop it.
Jehan: Makakilala na kayo.
Jay: Yes. Karen?
Jehan: Ah. Pero papakilala ko pa rin kayo. Jay si Karen. Karen si Jay.
(Then Jay takes our orders. When he goes and prepares our coffee and our 'hindi maiinit dahil sila ang microwave' empanada, I whisper to Jehan...)
Me: Ano ka ba Jehan? Seryosong crush ito. You're ruining it for me.
Jehan: Oi Jay, narinig mo 'yun? Seryosong crush ka daw niya. Alam mo ba, bihira itong magka-seryosong
crush. Suwerte ka.
Jay:
(smiles)


Hindi ba, nakakahiya? Ngunit the inner landi in me told Jehan (when we're in a safe distance from Jay), "Sana nitanong mo na din kung may girlfriend siya at pati 'yung phone number niya." And so, after finishing off our coffee, Jehan goes downstairs and here's what happened.



Jehan: Excuse me, may kulang sa order ko.
Jay: I'm sorry, ma'am?
Jehan: May kulang sa order ko.
Jay: Ano po 'yun?
Jehan: Your number.
Jay: Excuse me? You want my number?
Jehan: Yes.
Jay: Uhm, may I know why?
Jehan: Because I'm asking for it. (gives Jay her cup)
Jay: Are you sure gusto mong dito ko na siya isulat?
Jehan: (nods)
Jay: (writes cell number)



And successful ang unang phase ng Mission: JAY OF STARBUCKS. Pero ito, sa second phase. Friday, we're back at Starbucks Valero. But Jay was not there. Day off. Due to insistent public demand (I can just hear Annabs and Jehan saying, "Nagpapanggap na naman si Karen."), I called Jay. And I swear it was such a highschool-ish conversation...ayoko na mag-detalye. And that's when I found out nga na may girlfriend na si Jay. Rawr. >_<



Anyways, as I was telling Annabs kanina, I think I'm cursed. Because it turns out that hinid lang si Jay ang may girlfriend. Found out last night that Prospect #1 is not single as well. So aside from the fact na no-no siya dahil nga "kapag nabasa niya ito ay mawawalan ako ng trabaho", he's attached. Sadness. He's really cute pa naman. Grr. But to all my workmates, and friends, just a hint as to who this guy is:

Image hosting by Photobucket


Well, I guess tama si Annabs, I need to get out of my circle and explore other circles...so that I can meet guys who are not attached. Grr. T____T


| hAiLiE posted at 3:20:00 PM | |

Friday, April 21, 2006

New Job and New 'Prospects'

Okay, I've been silent for so long. I've been super busy with the new job. Yes...new job! After three (or is it four?) months of being a bum - staying at home doing nothing but listen to CDs and catch up on unwatched movie and TV titles - I finally decided that it's high time to get myself back to the working class. Besides, my backpay has ran out. *blush* QJ.Net, a gaming/gadget-oriented site. Although most of the time I can't relate to the topic, I'm still happy I landed the job. I get to do one of the things I really love - writing. I've been working for two weeks now and the thrill is still there. I hope I can keep the momentum...sana one year down the line eh masaya pa din ako sa ginagawa ko. ^^ Just a little self-gratification, if you guys wanna see my articles for the company, just click here.

Speaking of the new job, I'm so excited kasi in two weeks' time I'll finally be working with Annabs. Si Annabs na arwa-araw ko na halos ka-chat, eh kikitain ko pa mamaya para mag-kape! Haha! Si Annabs na pinapauso sa akin ang ulzzang...ulzzang fashion na ipangangalat naming parang lagim sa opis. In two weeks' time. Nyahaha!

At dahil nga nasa Makati na ko, there are lots of new possibilities. Boy possibilities. Hehe. ^^ In fact, in just two weeks of working I already have three prospects....ay, two na lang pala kasi 'yung isa ay may-girlfriend na.

Prospect no.1 Sikretong malupit. Kasi kapag nabasa niya ito ay mawawalan ako ng trabaho. *hint, hint*

Prospect no.2 Isang nilalang na nagtatrabahho sa Starbucks at ang ngalan niya ay Jay. Isang nakakatawang pangyayari kagabi sa Starbucks...ay, 'wag na lang pala. Nahiya ako bigla. *blush*

Anyways, that's all I have right now. Dwenolos, signing off.


| hAiLiE posted at 7:35:00 PM | |

Monday, April 03, 2006

Surveys, Rizal, and Dicta License

Stolen from Macy's...

Your Aura is Purple


Your Personality: You're a dreamer and visionary. You believe you were put on this earth to do something great.

You in Love: You're very passionate but often too busy for love. You need a man who sees your vision and adopts it as his own.

Your Career:

You need a job that helps you make a difference. You have a bright future as a guru, politician, teacher, or musician.



Your Love Song Is

Yellow by Coldplay

"Look at the stars,
Look how they shine for you,
And everything you do,
Yeah they were all yellow"

You're so in love, it's like a drug.


* *




I have finished Ambeth Ocampo's Rizal Without the Overcoat. I really loved it. Unlike other books on Rizal, Ocampo's was light on the eyes and the mind. What Ocampo did was he "undressed" Rizal, painted a picture of a human Rizal. And it was a fresh and welcome perspective. Because after years of studying Rizal, this was the only time I realized that he has feelings like all of us. He was always portrayed as invincible. But Ocampo showed that Rizal was not. He made mistakes like the rest of us. And this endeared me more to Rizal. It made me admire him more. It almost made me fall in love with him!



And finishing this book has prompted me to buy Noli Me Tangere. It dawned on me that I never read Rizal's works outside school. They've always been a requirement and that's why I took time out to read them. But, as a required reading, these books become almost detestable. And you only take note of the little things that might come up come exam day. You never notice the writing style, the humor, the opinions that made the book celebrated until this day.



I am now just in Chapter 5 (Si Kapitan Tiago) and I have noticed a few texts that escaped my attention back in high school. Here's Rizal on the sacrament of reconciliation (in the voice of Don Rafael Ibarra):



'Senyor Guevarra, naniniwala ba kayong pinatatawad ng Diyos ang isang krimen, ang pagpatay halimbawa, sa pamamagitan lamang ng pagsasabi sa isang pari, isang tao na may tungkulin namang ilihim ito, at dahil na rin sa takot niyang matosta sa impiyerno, at ito ang kaniyang acto de atricion? Kahit na maging duwag at walanghiya siya? Iba ang aking pagkakakilala sa Diyos,...Para sa akin, hindi maitutuwid ang isang mali ng isa pang mali....' from Noli Me Tangere ni Jose Rizal, isinalin ni Virgilio S. Almario, nilimbag ng Adarna House, 1998.



What Rizal wanted to point out is that he doesn't think it's enough to confess your sins. Because what only happens is that you confess to someone who'd take your secret to the grave. And what is justice, he says later on, confess to someone who'd keep your sin a secret or let society punish you for what you've done? Interesting point, right?



I'm so excited to finish the book and understand more the inner workings of our national hero's mind...



* * * * *




Image hosting by PhotobucketI've already mentioned that I've recently bought Dicta License's PAGHILOM. And I've also posted the first song, Ang Ating Araw. Over the weeekend I've listened to the songs in the album over and over again. And there's this one song that really hit home. Almost all of the songs in the album were of social relevance, but most especially Daloy ng Kamalayan. It really painted the true picture of what Philippine society is like nowadays. Read on be moved...



Daloy ng Kamalayan

Dicta License



Dumadaloy sakin

Bawat ilog, lawa at tubig-asin

Dumadaloy sakin

Sa tinataglay kong lawak ng himpapawaid



Makinig sa pahiwatig ng

makatang galing sa modernong paraan.

Hanapin ang sariling ligaw

Sa makitid na daan at pagtanaw.

Ang pagmamalay wag n wag pabayaan

Nang makabangon ang Perlas ng Silanganan.

Isip mo at isip ko

Ginintuang sandata ng pagbabago.



Tanong ng kababayan:

Paano makakapag-isip ang walang laman ang tiyan?


Sino ang magsasabi

Na siya ang huhubog sa kinabukasan?



Madalas na 'di napapansin

Edukasyon ngayon ay kulang sa diin

Ang ating mga silid aralan,

Ang mga guronagbebenta na lamang.

Pero di ako susuko sa tanong.

Pag-asa ko'y kaakibat ng ng aking dunong.

Doon tayo sa malayo tumingin.

Mahalin ang bukas na darating.



Dumadaloy

Dumadaloy sa akin

Dumadaloy sa iyo.