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Hailie

To find someone you love, You gotta be someone you love. To find someone you love, You gotta call your own bluff. -"Concrete Bed", Nada Surf

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We ask ourselves, "Who am I to be brilliant, gorgeous, talented, fabulous?" Actually, who are you not to be? (from OUR DEEPEST FEAR by Marianne Williamson)

Hailie is a 23 24 year-old girl who moves in the sometimes harsh reality under the name Karen. She loves reading, especially classical books and books written by Jeffrey Archer. She is a self-confessed ham who loves taking the center stage. She loves dancing and singing - but that doesn't mean she knows how to dance and sing. Her never-wavering dream is to become an actress...no kidding. A DVD addict, her favorite shopping places are Quiapo and Divisoria. She also recently discovered St. Francis Square, where she now shops for clothes, shoes, and anything Hello Kitty. Currently dreaming of owning an PlayStation PortableiTouch, pink Moto Razr Okwap i885, a portable DVD player, and the black pink DS Lite. She salivates everytime she sees the still-to-be-released recently-released Sony PlayStation 3 and Nintendo Wii. In love with life, love, and Frank Lampard Brandon Routh Joo Ji-hoon Milo Ventimiglia Daniel Henney (the last item changes from time to time...shifts from Rafael Nadal to Won Bin to Josh Hartnett or whoever). Her ultimate goal in life is to die happy.



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Sunday, February 08, 2009

Of the past and its effects on Hailie

Three pseudo-relationships. All ending up with the guy 'cheating'. End result is Hailie with a broken, nay MANGLED, heart. I remember her saying, a month after the last guy ripped her heart apart and amidst buckets and buckets and buckets of tears, that she'll never love the same way again. Or that perhaps she'll never really love again.

And I thought she meant that she'll never enter a psuedo-relationship again. That she'll stop being so giving. That the next time around, she'll be as heartless as the guys who've broken her heart have been.

That's what she thought as well.

And we were both wrong.

She did let herself enter another pseudo-relationship. She never stopped giving. And she can never bring herself to being as heartless as all those guys who've broken her heart.

So what's changed?

She doesn't know how to trust anymore. Her once blind faith has been totally wiped out...

Perhaps because of her failed relationships, she's resorted to always thinking that her guy will cheat on her eventually. So that when it finally happens, it will be easier to accept. So now, every little thing make her doubt... And she's almost sure that when things end with her current psuedo-relationship, it's because the guy cheated on her.

But she's soon realizing that being in the other end of the spectrum is not a good thing as well. She ends up being too much to bear that she ends up pushing people away.

She badly needs to find her middle ground. Soon.


Feeling: Photobucket bored
All ears to: the TV, showing October Road
Curled up in bed with: Tuesdays with Morrie Mitch Albom

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| hAiLiE posted at 12:22:00 PM | |